so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
