we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
