I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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