I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she told me i tasted like america
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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