Farmville is her only friend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize