Pappa wants mamma naked
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
