a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize