I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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