We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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