Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
