i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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