There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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