guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize