Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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