hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize