sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
