Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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