It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize