every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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