finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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