Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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