I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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