cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
