Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My feet surprised me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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