I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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