The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
