You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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