Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
