I'm gonna have a badass scar
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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