and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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