I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.