At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.