i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds