Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

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  (225): Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs! http://tfl.nu/87u7
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Shittttttt.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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  (734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy. (1-734): Shittttttt. (734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy. http://tfl.nu/htfb
  Replies (33) Good night (9683) Bad night (653)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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  (302): some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period http://tfl.nu/2c6q
  Replies (33) Good night (2421) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
  Replies (83) Good night (538) Bad night (9706) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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  (613): Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww (1-613): no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call http://tfl.nu/pane
  Replies (27) Good night (867) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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  (360): i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew http://tfl.nu/ocbg
  Replies (45) Good night (23471) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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  (478): closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college. http://tfl.nu/w89j
  Replies (17) Good night (4242) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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  (+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe http://tfl.nu/lh72
  Replies (16) Good night (7706) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.

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  (563): For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in. http://tfl.nu/kbab
  Replies (12) Good night (2492) Bad night (792)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

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  (601): there are ass prints on the hood of my car. http://tfl.nu/hwv7
  Replies (10) Good night (2936) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt

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  (651): I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt http://tfl.nu/h1u7
  Replies (9) Good night (583) Bad night (2426) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom

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  (503): Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/09st
  Replies (9) Good night (1511) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.

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  (506): They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them. http://tfl.nu/xyk5
  Replies (8) Good night (2794) Bad night (432)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.

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  (+44): You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste. http://tfl.nu/s042
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.

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  (714): Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer. http://tfl.nu/wp0z
  Replies (11) Good night (945) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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