Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.