Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
