Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
