You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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