i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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