i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
