Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize