honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
