no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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