that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh god it's open bar.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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