O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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