That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
