The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize