ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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