Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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