ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
