Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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