i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i out mim tonsoeep
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
