We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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