so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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