When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
