I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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