We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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