I need to stop coming to work sober
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
